


The One Where Nico Has 30 Boyfriends

by bookstorelesbian



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Attempt at Humor, College, Coming Out, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Misunderstandings, POV Outsider, Secret Relationship, kind of, like every character in pjo is mentioned i just didnt tag them all, people keep mistaking nicos friends for his boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28677519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookstorelesbian/pseuds/bookstorelesbian
Summary: “Seriously? Me and Lester?”  Nico looked ready to kill him.  “If you keep speaking to me I think I’m going to throw up.”Or, a new friend from college desperately tries to figure out who Nico's secret boyfriend is. He messes up.  A lot.  If only Nico didn't have so many weirdly close friends from high school.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo & Everyone, Nico di Angelo & Hazel Levesque, Nico di Angelo & Jason Grace, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 11
Kudos: 439





	The One Where Nico Has 30 Boyfriends

Nico di Angelo was fucking scary.

That was a pretty well known fact across all of campus. The kid wore all black, eyeliner (allegedly), and Jess had sworn she saw a tattoo on his stomach when he raised his arms yawning once during english class.

But yeah, Nico was the resident scary emo boy. He just walked around with headphones in, typing on his phone, and constantly buttoning and unbuttoning the cuff of his jacket during classes instead of taking notes like the rest of them. 

He was hot in a mysterious terrifying way, and befriending him had become a borderline obsession. It had taken weeks for Mark to even figure out the kids name, and even longer to get a word of conversation in with Nico.

Jess thought it was dumb. Everyone thought it was dumb. Maybe because Nico was well, scary, and showed literally no interest in becoming friends with all of them. But his utter avoidance of interaction with the rest of them only made Mark more and more invested in becoming besties with Nico.

He was just so fucking cool. His mysterious aura just made him even cooler. God he wanted to hang out with him.

Nico was sitting in the back row of their history class, doing something on his phone. Mark looked closer, like the creep that he was, and he could tell Nico was texting someone. 

Despite definitely wanting to, he couldn’t decipher the messages, but he could kind of read Nico’s face. There were less hard, angry lines than before, and he was almost smiling. As soon as he saw Mark’s eyes on him he wiped the look off his face and closed his phone, raising his eyebrows.

“Whats up?” Nico asked monotonically, and Mark did his best to to grin at the fact Nico sort of initiated their conversation. Not really, but still.

He bounced on his feet, deciding to just bite the bullet. Small talk wasn’t exactly his strong suit anyway. “Want to come grab lunch with me and my friends after class? We’re going to the dining hall on the east side.”

He certainly spoke faster than was technically necessary for a human, but he was nervous. Sue him.

Nico looked at him blankly. To be fair they had never really spoken before, but it’s not like Nico ever spoke to anyone so it didn’t really make Mark an outlier. 

“I can’t.” He said curtly. “I have lunch plans.” Mark nodded and tried not to feel kind of hurt. It’s not like Nico had to say yes, but it was kind of obvious that he was lying to avoid hanging out with them.

“Coolio.” Mark said awkwardly, shifting on his feet. Nico’s phone buzzed again. It was getting awkward quickly.

As a last ditch effort he tried to look depressed enough to guilt Nico into coming along. God he was going to get bullied for this later. He was really pulling out all of the moves for this kid.

It didn’t work. He started to walk away, somewhat dejectedly, and he could hear Nico sigh.

“Tomorrow.” Nico finally relented, and while the tired tone wasn’t exactly the excited reaction he was hoping for, it was something. 

Mark finger gunned, and internally cursed himself. That definitely looked stupid. He did not want Nico di Angelo to think he was stupid. He cleared his throat, attempting to make a smooth recovery, but it didn't work. Nico raised a single eyebrow (god he was fucking cool), and looked almost amused.

“You hang out with that girl in the red shirt over there? The one staring at us?” Nico asked, and stifling a groan he turned, just to see Jess watching them intently. When she saw she was caught she ducked back behind her backpack, but it was too late. The damage was done.

“I’m sorry I-”

Nico cut him off. “She’s in my 10 o'clock lecture tomorrow. I assume she can escort me down to wherever you’ll be.”

He was so cool and casual about it that Mark almost fainted. He felt a bit like a fanboy meeting their idol. “Um yeah, I’ll meet you guys there.”

“Okay.” He replied, and his phone buzzed again. Nico glanced down at it and almost laughed after reading it. He would have killed to know what it said.

Nico glanced up at him again, then back at his phone, eyes pointed. Even his dumbass was able to tell that was a dismissal. 

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Mark said with another set of finger guns, which he internally cursed himself for again. He needed a new token hand gesture.

“See you then.” Nico said with a nod, and went back to texting. Mark stood there awkwardly for another second, before dismissing himself. 

“I fucking TOLD you he would say yes.” He whisper yelled at Jess, who was still bright red.

She shook her head. “I don’t see him eating with us right now, do you?” She asked sarcastically, and he refused to let her get him off of his victory high.

“We’re hanging out with him tomorrow, so fuck you.” He declared, and she rolled her eyes, laughing slightly. He grinned. “In fact, you and him will have to have a one on one conversation after class tomorrow. So have fun with that you nerd.”

“You’re such a dick Mark. I hope he makes fun of you.”

He grabbed his bag off the floor. “Die.” He said, flipping her off. She laughed, and blundered after him as he made his way out

\------ 

Admittedly, he was kind of distracted. He maintained that the entire disaster was not his fault. It was an easy mistake to make.

Mark had been walking back from class, listening to a podcast and generally just having a good time. It had been a few days since his first interaction with Nico, and the lunch had gone better then he hoped. Nico had mostly stayed silent, occasionally chiming into his conversation with Jessica, but there was enough that it could be a victory.

During said conversation, he had gotten a phone call, and stepped away to pick it up. Not a big deal, but he had answered the call by saying “Hey babe.” in his usual gruff voice.

It had happened so quickly Mark had barely flagged it as important. It just answered the question of who Nico was constantly texting. He wondered if maybe he knew Nico’s girlfriend from around campus, and had done some brief online stalking to try and find out who it was, with little success. 

So, seeing him sitting outside a cafe, smiling and laughing with a pretty girl wasn’t really a difficult situation to analyze. Nico, chilling on a date with his girlfriend.

They were cute together. Really cute. His girlfriend looked a little younger then Nico, maybe by a year or two, and was one of those people with a kind face, curly black hair pushed out of her eyes with a headband and chocolatey brown skin. And Nico looked more relaxed around her then he had ever seen the kid before. The idea of her and Nico- angsty, skinny, emo Nico- together was odd, but really cute. One of those unlikely couple things. He kind of loved it.

They were deep in discussion, and Mark found himself creeping closer and closer to try and hear what they were talking about. They were discussing some kid named Frank, who must have had a pet dog or something. Or was possibly a furry. It was a really confusing conversation.

Because Mark was a total genius, he forgot that other people had eyes and noticed things, and standing about 6 feet away from someone just staring at them wasn't exactly subtle. He of course only realized this extremely important fact when the girl turned to him and asked if he was okay.

The worst part is she seemed genuinely concerned about his well being. Nico just looked annoyed.

“He’s fine.” Nico snapped. “Just a friend from school.”

He did his best to contain his excitement about the fact Nico had just referred to him as a friend. Hell yeah they were friends. He was friends with Nico di-fucking-Angelo.

The look of excitement in his eyes was definitely making him look even more like a stalker, so he tried to alleviate the awkwardness. “I’m Mark. Nice to meet you.” He trailed off kind of awkwardly, but she smiled kindly.

“Hazel.” She introduced herself with a smile, then turned over to Nico, grinning cheekily. “And this is the first I’m hearing about you having friends Nico. Very exciting.” 

“I don’t have friends.” Nico said sullenly, but there was a smile in his eyes. 

Hazel shook her head, smiling. “Whatever you say “Ghost King”.” She said with a flourish, and Mark didn’t even have the mental availability to start figuring out that nickname.

“Shut up!” Nico said gruffly, hitting her but still looking amused. Hazel really must have been someone special if she could make him laugh like that.

He suddenly was aware of the fact he was completely intruding on a romantic lunch. Nico was looking at him kind of oddly, almost urging him to get out.

He backed away awkwardly, attempting to make a smooth exit. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your date. I’ll see you around Ni-”

“Date?” Nico interrupted, and Mark nodded, slightly confused.

Hazel bursting out laughing, and Nico turning bright red. He looked so embarrassed that Mark almost felt bad, except he couldn't figure out what he was actually supposed to feel bad for.

Hazel was the one who composed herself first. “We’re not dating.” She said, almost breathless. “He’s my brother.”

Brother. But that couldn’t be right because-

Nico noticed the confusion in his eyes. “Half brother technically.”

It was so awkward. Soooooo awkward. He guessed it was his fault for assuming they weren't related just because they looked completely different. Or just for assuming that a boy and girl hanging out meant they have to be dating.

“Oh. I’m so sorry.” He said, somewhat awkwardly. He wasn't really sure if this was his moment to just back out, but it felt appropriate to have them say something forgiving him. Or telling him to get out of their lives forever. Either worked.

It appeared his first choice was closer to correct. “It’s fine. Easy mistake to make, we look nothing alike.” Hazel said kindly. 

It was true, not that he would have said anything. He might be dumb, but not that dumb. At least the two of them seemed to think it was funny.

Apparently Nico had been talking for some time through Mark’s sad, sad, internal monologue.

“Besides, even if we weren’t related, I would never date Hazel. She’s annoying.” Nico said, more to Hazel then Mark. It was now extremely clear these were sibling interactions. 

“How dare you?” She said incredulously, barely holding in a laugh. “I’m a total catch. You’re just gay.”

Nico shook his head, amused. “Having a boyfriend does affect our romantic relationship as brother and sister.” He deadpanned, and Hazel laughed, clear and bright.

He glanced over to Mark quickly, as if to check his reaction to Nicos very nonchalant coming out moment. 

Mark didn’t care obviously. He was just mad that all of his investigative journalism on every girl Nico had ever spoken to had gone to waste.

That wouldn’t stop him though. This just meant he would have to go back to online stalking him. That wasn’t a problem. 

He would find Nico’s mystery boy if it was the last thing he did.

\------

It happened again. 

“Get the fuck out.” Nico said suddenly, and Mark took a double take. The two of them had been walking back to Nico’s dorm talking about literally nothing, until all of a sudden Cool Nico turned into Scary Nico.

He followed Nico’s glare to a latino boy leaning against the brick wall of the dorm, bouncing on his feet slightly and tapping away on his phone. Probably candy crush, the bastard. The boy’s eyes lit up when he noticed Nico standing in front of him.

“Nico!” He called excitedly, and Nico blinked slowly, seemingly angry at seeing the boy.

“Why are you here.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. 

Scary Nico was weirdly attractive. He forced himself to get rid of that thought before his mind could get out of control.

The boy gave him a cheeky grin, that was somehow super attractive too. Damn him. “I go here. Stupid.”

“No you don’t.” Nico’s voice was steady, and he stepped closer to the other boy. “I go here. All you do here is annoy me.”

The kid took a step closer to Nico, until they were uncomfortably close together. “Talked to Chiron and finessed the system baby Benefits of being a literal genius.” He paused, and grinned mischievously. “Can I sleep in your room?”

“You’re disgusting Leo.”

They were doing some weird staring contest, and it was so intense, and frankly odd, that it took Mark a second to realize what was going on.

This was the boyfriend. Obviously. There was certainly a little more animosity then he expected, but overall Leo was pretty much what he was expecting. He was kind of badass looking in a weird way, had a whole heavy metal mechanic vibe going on, and there was definitely sexual tension in their arguing. A lot of it.

He was exactly the type of guy that he imagined for Nico, vaguely scary and kind of hot. It made way more sense then Hazel did. Of course Nico would be dating someone kind of cool and alt. 

Not that there was anything wrong with Hazel, but she was a real life horse girl. A hot mechanic made a lot more sense. He was mad at himself that he hadn’t thought of that before.

“Hi.” He finally said, uncomfortable in the silence. They both froze, practically jumping apart. He definitely made it more uncomfortable. That was kind of a recurring theme in his life.

Nico sighed and threw his arms out. “Nico, meet Mark. Mark, Nico.”

Mark waved at him awkwardly and Leo bounced on his feet. “Nico I didn’t know you had any friends!”

“Fuck off.” Nico said at the same time Mark murmured “Why does everyone keep saying that.”

Leo grinned widely. His eyes sparkled in the dark, like he was exuberating some kind of warmth. “I kid.” Nico rolled his eyes. “We all know that Nico’s one of the boys.”

He pronounced boys with a z. Nico looked absolutely done with the conversation. 

“Okay, now that you’ve harassed me can you please leave the premises? I think you’re freaking Mark out.”

It was an obvious excuse to stop Mark from spending time with his boyfriend, which made sense. Mark was weirdly obsessed and would definitely say something regrettable the longer they spent time together. That wasn’t going to stop him.

He put his hands up in protest. “It’s okay, I’m not freaked out.”

It wasn’t entirely true. The conversation hadn’t gone exactly like he’d envisioned. Nico and Leo weren’t exactly bantering, it was more like arguing with a layer of affection underneath. But hey, he wasn’t one to judge. It wasn’t like he was in a relationship. If it worked, it worked.

“See Nico! Your other best friend loves me!”

He had a shit eating grin, which was a stark contrast to the look of absolute disdain on Nico’s face. Again, it wasn’t exactly typical for a relationship, but still. Nico was infamously scary, maybe that translated into his dating life too.

They stood in silence for a minute, Nico glowering and Leo grinning widely. Mark took that as his cue to start talking. “So how did you two get together?”

Nico got bright red, but still maintained his glare at him. “Stop thinking that. We’re not together. I would rather die.”

“Oh.” Mark said awkwardly, and Leo gasped loudly.

“How dare you?” He announced dramatically, putting his hand on his heart. “I thought we had something beautiful! I loved you!” He wiped away a fake tear, and looked like he was only ramping up the performance.

It looked like Nico wanted to send him to an early grave. “I’ll beat the shit out of you Leo.”

“What about the children?” Leo said dramatically, his voice shaking dramatically. He fell to his knees, really giving his all to the performance. 

Mark was still putting the pieces together. He had obviously gotten their relationship wrong. Very wrong. There was no way Nico was dating this kid. (Even though Leo was super fucking hot. Like, seriously hot.)

It didn’t answer the question of who the hell this guy was. It wasn’t like Nico hung out with a ton of people besides them. And they were clearly familiar with each other. Maybe not friends, but definitely familiar. Definitely affectionate. Just very deep down.

Nico took an additional step away from Leo, who was struggling back to his feet. “We know each other from summer camp.”

“And high school.” Leo added with a grin, his voice light and airy. Nico looked at him, slightly annoyed.

“And high school.” He confirmed, but didn’t look 100% certain about that. Mark just decided to move on.

He figured the best way to exit this situation was to just apologize and get out. He felt kind of bad intruding on some conversation with an old friend who showed up.

Well maybe not a friend. An old person that Nico knew might be more accurate. 

“Anyways, um, I’m sorry.” Mark finally said. “I didn’t mean to assume anything.”

Nico looked at him, as if to say ‘really’, and Mark restrained himself from an eye roll. He really didn't mean to assume anything. He just really wanted to know who Nico was dating.

Like, really wanted to know. 

Leo slicked his hands through his hair. “Nico could only be so lucky.”

Nico stared him up and down, clearly judging him. “Think what you need to think to get through the day.” He said, so bitingly that Mark snorted, before covering his mouth embarrassed.

Mark took a step back, inching his way towards his dorm entrance. 

“You swear you’re dating?”

Leo gave a shit eating grin. “Nope! Just best friends.”

“We’re not best friends.”

“We’re totally best friends.”

“I dont like you, you just keep fucking showing up wherever I go.”

“Ouch.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

Mark took that at his cue to flee. So apparently Leo wasn’t the mystery boy. He would find him if it killed him. 

\------

Mark looked at them suspiciously. “Are you sure you’re not dating?”

Nico was lying on the green next to a boy who somewhat resembled a puppy. A really buff puppy. Maybe that was Nico’s type, considering his other guesses had been pretty off.

Besides, they looked super cute together. Comfortable. Like, the same level comfortable that Nico was with his sister, which had to mean something. 

Unless they were also siblings. Which would absolutely kill him. Because he had gotten pretty much the same look of disgust that he had gotten when he accused Nico and Hazel of dating. 

“We’re not dating.” Nico said resolutely. “We will never be dating.”

In fact, he had physically moved away from the kid, who looked kind of bummed out at Nicos rejection. 

“Frank’s dating my sister.”

Oh. Well at least that was better then when he guessed his actual sister.

Frank looked kind of hurt still, and finally spoke up, albeit quietly. “We’re also friends.”

Nico rolled his eyes. “Yes, we’re also friends.” The kid perked up a little bit. “But we’re definitely not boyfriends.”

Frank nodded in affirmation, before regarding Mark a little closer. “I’m sorry, who are you?”

“Not important.” Mark said quickly, and walked away at almost a run. This was getting embarrassing.

\-------

Nico stared at him incredulously. “Me and Grover are not dating. Absolutely not.”

“Okay sorry.”

\--------

The boy to Nico’s right grinned widely. “I don’t know about Connor, but I’m down for a throuple.”

Nico blinked slowly. “We’re not together. Shut the fuck up Travis.”

“So that’s a no to the throuple?”

Nico got up and walked away. So apparently not dating. Or down for a throuple.

\--------

“Me and Lester?” Nico looked ready to kill him. “If you keep speaking to me I think I’m going to throw up.”

\--------

He didn’t blame himself. Stupid skater boys.

“So you’re not dating?” Mark asked, slightly confused. Because they said they weren’t dating. But they were still kinda acting like they were dating

Nico cracked a smile over at Percy. “No. He’s not my type.”

Percy sighed “Yeah whatever asshole.” He spun in his wheely chair once. “This joke is so overused at this point. Come up with another deeply depressing backstory and we’ll work from there.”

Nico looked at him incredulously. “I’ll work on it.”

Mark hadn’t heard the deeply depressing backstory, and to be honest he was extremely curious. But snooping on that was a little invasive, even for him. He opted to continue his current strategy, figuring out who the hell Nico diAngelo was dating.

“So what is your type?”

“Blonde and stupid.”

“Blonde and not an asshole like you are.”

Blonde and not an asshole. He could find that guy.

\--------

Two months later, and Mark STILL hadn’t met the mysterious boyfriend. However, he and Nico had gotten closer, and they would actually do things like eat together and hang out. It was wild.

He had learned a lot of things about Nico. He learned that he had a sister who died when he was a kid, he learned that he grew up in Venice, he learned that he had gone to some weird, ultra reclusive boarding school in New York through all of high school. 

The high school part was really confusing every time Nico tried to explain it, but Mark just went with it. He wasn’t about to question their budding relationship.

Even so, Nico refused to tell him his boyfriend's name, or even show a picture. He knew it was because Nico thought his obsessive curiosity was hilarious, and Mark knew the only way he would ever find out was stumbling on them.

Luckily, the campus was pretty small, and there weren’t that many people who Nico hung out with. There were two kids he both called Stoll who he had apparently gone to high school with (the story of Nico’s high school experience was very confusing), his sister, the hyperactive engineering student called Leo, Percy and his girlfriend Annabeth who came and visited a lot, and that was just about it. So anyone else that Nico hung out with was fair game.

It wasn’t like he was just going to randomly approach Nico every time he was with someone. Not again. It was embarrassing enough the first few times. Now he had enough information to make an educated guess and not humiliate himself. To be fair that information was mostly the fact he was looking for a blonde, nice looking dude, but that was pretty good.

So when he saw Nico sitting on the green laughing with a blond haired kid who somewhat resembled Superman, he knew he had stuck gold. There was no way this wasn’t the guy.

He got a little closer, hiding slightly behind a tree. Yes he was aware it was creepy. No he did not care.

On closer inspection, he recognized the kid. He had seen him on Nico’s lockscreen a second before he hid it from view. That all of confirmed it.

“That’s stupid.” He overheard blonde boy say. “I barely even passed my drivers test and you want me to take you in Lester’s car?” 

He had met Lester before, but there was no way that kid owned a car. But who knows, clearly he wasn’t as perceptive as he thought he was. 

He couldn’t believe Nico had never mentioned Superman before. Maybe another kid from their weird weird high school.

“Cruise control dude.” Nico said, trying to be convincing. “There's like a 99% chance that we’ll survive it, and Lester’s totally gonna be down. He owes me several hundred favors.” Nico. thought for a second. “Also he doesn’t care about anything anymore.”

Blonde boy shook his head. “I backed into Mr. D the only time I ever tried to drive in camp. Do you know how many threats I got for that one?”

Mark repressed the urge to go over and talk to Blonde Boy and investigate further. They clearly knew each other well, and Nico seemed just as at ease around him as he did Hazel. Big evidence in his favor.

“Please Jason.” Nico paused, and put on a sad, wistful look. “Riding in that car was my last memory with Bianca.”

Blonde boy (Jason apparently) rolled his eyes. “Stop playing the dead sister card, it’s not working again. Not after I did your math homework for you because it was her ‘favorite subject’ and it was ‘too painful to handle’’ He said, using air quotes. Nico grinned.

“Still can’t believe you actually did calculus for me.”

“This is why I’m not letting you test drive Lester’s chariot with me.”

“Literally die.”

“Okay Death Boy.”

Nico groaned. “I know you’re having a weird crisis and traveling the world trying to find yourself right now, but can you hurry it up and come here? It’s getting weird.” Jason rolled his eyes and Nico groaned. “Stop it with this weird midlife crisis shit. You’re supposed to be the stable one and I'm the angsty teen!”

“Well I'm definitely past the middle of my life.” Jason countered, and Nico acted like he didn’t hear him.

“Piper might hate your guts, but she would totally put in one phone call and you’re automatically in.”

Jason glared at him. “She doesn’t hate me.” Nico raised his eyebrows, and Jason rolled his eyes. “I know from an outsider's perspective our relationship looks a little rocky, but we just haven't really talked since, well, you know.”

They both paused. Nico looked almost apologetic but not really. Maybe Jason had dumped Piper for Nico. Maybe Piper was another sister. Who the fuck knows.

Nico shook his head. “She could still totally admit you mid semester.”

Jason tilted his head. “Will you be my roomie?”

“No.” Nico said saltily. Jason stared at him sadly, and Nico immediately caved. “Fine. Only because you’ll clean up after me.”

“I’m not doing that.”

“Yes you are.”

Mark became acutely aware of how deep into this he had gotten. He was hiding behind a tree, spying on his extremely private friend, who was bantering with someone who was almost 100% his boyfriend.

Jason checked off all the boxes. Blonde, didn’t seem to be an asshole (that piece of advice from Percy was particularly useful), clearly close with Nico, his picture was on his lockscreen, and not his sibling. He had confirmed that Nico didn’t have any brothers, because holy shit he couldn’t take another awkward sibling sex talk.

They were even touching, brushing against each other, fist bumping, Nico hitting him in the shoulder several times. Maybe it wasn’t the MOST romantic of touches, but for Nico this was the equivalent of making out in public. The boy wouldn’t even give him a high five.

The crouching behind a tree thing was getting kind of weird, so Mark formulated a plan to go and introduce himself. Because he still wanted to meet Nico’s secret boyfriend. And he was stupid. The more times this happened the further he was leaning into the stupid category.

His plan didn’t really have time to formulate before he felt Nico’s eyes on him. “Mark, stop stalking me.”

He popped out from behind the tree and tried to look guilty. Nico didn’t even look pissed anymore (a true testament to how consistently annoying Mark was), and the boyfriend looked more confused than anything.

Nico narrowed his eyes at Mark’s expression. “I don’t know what convoluted theory you have right now, but Jason is not my boyfriend.”

“Fuck.” He groaned. Nico was no fun. Of course he had known exactly what he was thinking. And now he was officially at another dead end.

Maybe he was lying. He informed Nico of that idea, but he just shook his head.

“We’re literally not dating. You’re just weird.”

He decided to push. Because that was who he was as a person. “I can feel the sexual tension from here.”

Jason looked horrified. “We’re cousins!”

Fuck. Of course they were related. Because Nico had the biggest, least alike looking family in existence. Seriously. It was getting ridiculous at this point.

Nico rolled his eyes. He was honestly concerned that his eyes might stay like that if he did it any more often. “We’re barely cousins.” That didn't really make sense, but Nico said it with such conviction that he just went with it. Maybe the kid was Hazel’s mom’s adopted kid. At this point nothing about the family could surprise him.

“Well, this is awkward.” Mark finally said, hoping it would quench some of the tension in the air. It didn’t work.

Jason tilted his head at him. “Nico is this your friend you were telling me about?”

“You tell people about me?” He exclaimed, at the same time as Nico said “absolutely not.”

Jason smirked. “Mark, right?”

He fist pumped. “Yes Mark.” The sentence didn’t make a lot of sense. He was excited, sue him.

Nico intervened. “Now that we’re all aware of your presence, get out Mark. I’m in the process of getting a new roommate.”

He saluted awkwardly, knowing better than to protest. He was still riding the high of being acknowledged as Nico’s friend.

“See you around Jason. Not you Nico.”

He sauntered off, hearing a loud “Fuck off!” behind him. Damn he was glad he was friends with that kid.

Now just to find that fucking boyfriend.

\-------

He had officially given up. Like for real. There had been too many mistakes.

Maybe there wasn’t even a boyfriend. Because somehow he had met every member of Leo’s extended family before he had even gotten a glimpse of an apparently serious boyfriend.

Thats why, when he saw Nico sitting next to a blonde boy at a picnic table, he didn’t even assume anything. He was probably his 24th cousin or something.

Besides, Nico’s type clearly wasn’t nice boys. The whole Jason and Frank fiascos had definitely proven that. Or skaters. Or mechanics. So this puppy dog looking boy was definitely not his boyfriend.

He still went to introduce himself. Because they were real friends now. Nico had met all of his friends (all 3), and actually approached him first in public. So as long as he wasn’t actively accusing family members of having sex with Nico, it was fair game.

When Nico caught sight of him he grinned, and whispered something in the other boy's ear. The boy frowned, but when he caught Nico’s expression looked resigned. 

He wondered what Nico had said. Probably a warning. He wasn’t sure if his level of odd still warranted a warning. It probably did.

He cleared his throat and went over anyway. He gave an awkward little wave. “Hey Nico. Hey Nico’s friend.”

The boy smiled at him. His teeth were really white. “Will. Nice to meet you.”

Okay, so definitely not Nico’s boyfriend. He knew that Nico didn’t fuck with nice people. He had actually told him that. 

“Whats up Mark?” Nico finally asked, and he shrugged.

“You know how it is. Just roaming campus looking for my best friend.” Nico cracked a smile, but still rolled his eyes. “What are you two up to?”

Will looked like he wanted to say something, but Nico interrupted before he could speak. “I’m just helping Will study for an exam. He’s a med student.”

Nico sounded,,, weirdly proud of that. It was kind of odd. Nico didn’t usually surround himself with sciencey kids, other than mechanic boy who Nico seemed to tolerate more than actually. They were pretty much all English or History majors. 

So it was a little odd that he would be helping with something that was most definitely sciency. Especially because there were no papers in front of them. He didn’t question it though. His questions never turned out to be right.

“Very cool.” Mark said, drumming his fingers on the table. “I was gonna be a doctor but then I remembered I’m afraid of blood.”

Will nodded gravely. “A dangerous problem.” He paused for a second to think. “To be fair I think I’m scared of blood too.”

Nico smirked. “Don’t be modest Dr. Solace. I’ve almost bled out in front of you a ton of times and you didn’t even blink.”

They both laughed at that, and Mark joined in hesitantly, because what the fuck did that mean. Probably a weird figure of speech that he didn’t know. 

It didn’t sound like a figure of speech.

Mark cleared his throat. “I should probably get going. Gotta get to class and all that.” 

He didn’t have a class. But they were looking in eachothers eyes and it was starting to feel weird to interrupt their best friend time. 

He wondered how Nico’s boyfriend felt about all of the weirdly intimate relationships Nico had with other people. He was literally touching Will’s hand as they sat next to each other. Mark probably would have been jealous of Will if he was dating Nico, but he didn’t dare guess things about their friend group dynamics anymore.

Besides, he was 90% sure Nico and Will were long lost siblings or something. He seemed to have a lot of those.

Will smiled at him softly, and Mark couldn’t help but notice the way he was tracing circles on Nico’s palm. Weirdly intimate friends. “It was nice to meet you Mark.”

He gave an awkward salute. “Any friend of Nico’s is a friend of mine.”

Will looked a little guilty at that and Nico smirked, which he definitely didn’t get. But again, not even going to try and guess. He had failed at analyzing people one too many times.

“We are definitely friends.” Nico said matter of factly, staring at Will. 

“Um, okay.” Mark took a few steps backwards before waving and turning away, leaving Will and Nico to stare at each other and apparently study for an exam. They were clearly such close friends that Mark was almost jealous.

He snuck one look back, and Nico was sticking his tongue down the other boy's throat. Mark’s jaw dropped to the floor.

“Holy shit.”

**Author's Note:**

> Me? Writing an 18 page fic in the middle of midterms? Never.
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed, please leave kudos and comment if you'd like to! I'm always down for feedback and constructive criticism. Thank you so much!!


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